as of now, i guess i could say i'm living between reality, what could be, and what i don't know will happen. there are things i dream about that should happen but probably won't. the bad part is that i'm not living in the present because i feel like it's only temporary and doesn't really matter because i dump out all of my expectations on future moments. i don't brush my hair anymore. yet my surroundings are in their usual organized state.. hah i'll probably never learn to let go huh. i dont FEEL like im living on my own. i used to know exactly what i could expect from the next day, the next year, but i don't anymore and sometimes when i blatantly think about it, i get really scared. if i could portray it any better, i would say that someone put me in a glass butterfly jar and set it on a windowsill.
some things give solitude. finally busting out my watercolors, listening to beautiful music from this one sweetheart who lives in LA, brightening up my room with tulips (which are already dying..), watching house... :)
i need to get out more often. really.
come take me away.
