lately, everything is drab. well no, mostly the thought of doing things, to be fair.
the thought of making my bed in the morning like i used to is drab
the thought of writing every day is drab.
also the thoughts of doing the dishes, going to yoga, starting up pointe again,
feeding my, what i thought would be continuous, need for understanding Buddhism,
lighting candles, all seem drab. making art! i don't do that at home EVER anymore. the thought
of bringing home paint on a plate wrapped in tinfoil and staying up nights to bring life
to something 2d and flat, is currently boring to me. it is the scariest thing in the world, when the one thing
you love most and feel most connected with does not act as that fulfilling factor in your life anymore simply
because you lack the will power to keep it that way.
i know, that if i did these things, truly did them, continuously and without hesitation , they would be everything but drab and far from it.
i either need someone like my mother to give me a reality check, since she's usually good at that,
or force myself mercilessly to get a grip.
i know february isn't the month of rebirth but i have to make it something of the kind.
i just saw a commercial for beer about a group of guys: "they live like there's no tomorrow, but they have plans for tomorrow anyway. BIG PLANS."
why beer...
anyways, i know this isn't the right mood for an outfit, but oh well.
devendra banhart is playing at the warfield in march.
YESSSSSS!
